Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Saturday, June 15, 2013

A Pervert's Fantasy (A Prussia + Hungary LEMON)

WARNING: May include some bondage! Don't say I didn't warn you!

"I hate you, Gilbert," Elizabetha said to him as he held the leather riding crop firmly in his grasp. The red-eyed German looked at her and laughed sinisterly as he snapped the leather strip on his palm.

CRACK!
CRACK!
CRACK!

"Vat do you vant, Elizabetha? Don't tell me you don't know vat is going on inside your head!" he teased crudely as he stared at her stripped-naked form tied up.

She was tied up in such a way that even her private areas were exposed for him to see. Her hands were behind her back, her legs were tied apart as if in a gynecologist's chair to give Gilbert a good view of her womanhood, and her nipples were hard and upright due to the slight chill in the dark, dim room. She rolled her eyes at the German and shook her head, struggling to move in the tight collar.

Gilbert, on the other hand, was a sight to see himself, and he was scantily clad in an outfit made entirely of thin leather. He wore no underpants, leaving his member to stand erect through the gap in his open leather chaps, and two leather straps with metal buckles crossed over his chest to make him look more intimidating. This was a success, for Elizabetha was taken from her home, stripped completely, and tied up in a weird, strappy contraption. This was a pervert's fantasy.

SNAP!

"Ow! What are you doing, Gilbert?" Elizabetha shouted, responding to the riding crop striking her bottom. "That hurts a lot!"

SNAP!

"Stop that! I mean it!" she repeated, the same distressing shout. The German looked down at his member, beginning to stroke it hard and fast as he stared at her distressing expression. Then, it turned to disgust--what the hell is he doing, she asked herself.

Suddenly, he grabbed her head, clutching her light brown hair tightly as he shoved his erection into her mouth. She screamed, gagging as his cock went in and out of her orifice.

"Oh, ja! Zat feels good! No vonder my brozer loves sadistic porn!" he giggled, moaning in pleasure as his member made Elizabetha's cries of disapproval turn to quiet, but audible throat gags. Once he went faster, Elizabetha started gagging so much she let out a few strained coughs. She kept shaking her head to free herself from Gilbert's tight grasp, finally getting his dick out of her mouth as she coughed heavily from him gagging her with his erect member.

"You idiot! What are you doing!? Sto--"

It began again, and Elizabetha's eyes widened as her breath was prevented and it was practically thrusting in and out of the hollow of her throat. Gilbert cackled sadistically at the sensation of her warm, wet mouth.

"Ooh! Zis is awesome!" he groaned, the evil grin still on his face as he felt an even better sensation. "Ooh! Looks who's going to cum!"

Elizabetha's eyes widened upon hearing him, and once she felt his liquid seed pour into her mouth, she spat it out on Gilbert, expressing her disapproval. However, on her tongue it tasted OK, so she swallowed some of it until gasping in her response to him beginning to lick her slick, hot folds.

"Ah! Gilbert! Ahh!" she shouted. He stroked her clit with his index finger, looking up into her eyes with his bright red eyes full of sadistic lust.

"You're all vet, Elizabetha!" he said, sticking a finger inside of her. She winced and moved in her strappy binding, trying to make him stop.

"Stop! I'm warning you!" she shrieked angrily.

"Varning me? Vhy? It's apparent you feel awesome, too!" he said, his finger going deeper as he sucked on her bundle of nerves gently. Elizabetha couldn't help but moan; it actually did feel good, but she hated Gilbert so much that she didn't want to show it. However, she was failing miserably as he sucked her harder and harder with each passing minute as his finger dug into her anterior wall.

"Gilbert! I.....hate....y-you!" she shouted, intense pleasure concealed in her voice. He stopped and stood up, shoving his member inside of her. It was without warning--Elizabetha didn't like this.

"Ah!! Stop! It hurts!!" she exclaimed. Her arms seemed to have minds of their own, wrapping around Gilbert's collared neck spontaneously as he thrust in and out of her roughly.

"It's so much better inside of you, Elizabetha! Admit it--you like vat I'm doing," he told her.

"No! I do not!" she shouted, still holding him close.

"You are holding me, and zat is ze only logical giveaway!" Gilbert contradicted.

"Am I?" she asked, looking into his red-violet eyes.

"Ja!" he told her, laughing as he kept going in and out of her. Elizabetha felt more pleasure, but resisted it to the point where she started screaming.

"Gilbert! Ah!!" she moaned, panting breathlessly. "Stop it!"

"You moaned my name! Zat's it! You like it!!" he responded, going deeper inside of her as he wrapped her legs around his waist.

"It's so hot and vet!" Gilbert finally said moments later. "It must feel good to you!"

"No!" she lied. "I hate it! Stop it!"

"I zink you do!! Don't deny it!" he commanded, whispering in her ear. "You are turned on by my awesomeness!"

"No!" she repeated for the umpteenth time. "Stop!"

"You're getting tighter around me! Ja, you are!" he cooed, moaning loudly from the pleasure Elizabetha's liquid heat gave him. She experienced a sudden rush of ecstasy, and found herself shouting.

"Stop...I'm going to...I'm going to--"

"Vat are you going to do, lieben?" he asked. "I know vat I am going to do--I am going to come!"

"No!!"

"Ja!"

With that, another dose of Gilbert's semen came in contact with her body, and it was inside her. Elizabetha hated the feeling of being dominated, but she knew she couldn't run and hide; she was bound in an awkward position. Gilbert kissed her cheek and smiled at her deviously.

"Guten nacht." Those were his final words before leaving the Hungarian woman bound in the room, awkward position and all.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Shopping in Warsaw (A Poland + Lithuania ONE-SHOT)

Sorry guys, keeping it clean in this one!! Enjoy!!

"Like, isn't this dress pretty, Toris?" the young Polish man said as he pushed the dressing room curtain aside in order to step out. He posed like a runway model with his hands on his hips and his legs parted to show his friend Toris the outfit he had just taken off the sale rack. Toris never really understood why Feliks, his longtime friend, would insist on dressing like a girl. Oh well, he thought from time to time, it's none of my business.

The Lithuanian blushed, looking at him with the same kind of incredulity he always had when his friend dressed in drag. Feliks was trying on a long-sleeved dress in his favorite color, pink, with a coordinating russet-colored turtleneck underneath it. The look was completed with pink and white striped tights and a pair of heeled black boots. Toris smiled shyly and nodded at his friend, who still posed effeminately.

"It...is a good look," he said. Feliks smiled at him, placing his delicate hands to his chest as if touched by something emotional. Signs of blushing showed in his cheeks as he looked at Toris, whose remained on his for a long, seemingly endless moment. Meanwhile, a saleswoman came by holding a frilly blue skirt on a hanger, and it diverted Feliks and made him excitedly frantic. He walked to the saleswoman and tapped her on the shoulder just before she could hang it up on a rack.

"Excuse me, but I think, like, that skirt totally has my name on it," Feliks said, looking at the young saleswoman.

"Certainly," she said, handing him the skirt on the hanger. Her eyes scanned the outfit he had been modelling for Toris; "that looks fabulous on you!"

"Thank you!" Feliks said with a cheeky smile, walking back to a sitting Toris near the fitting room.

"I'm so buying this," the young Polish man said, admiring himself in the mirror again before going in with the skirt. He closed the curtain and took off the clothing items. Before putting on the skirt, he undid the back closure and slipped into it. Pulling it up to his waist, he had trouble redoing the closure. He poked his head out of the fitting room curtain and caught Toris' attention.

"You there," he joked with blushing cheeks. "Can you come in here and help me?"

The thought of going into a fitting room with his flamboyant friend made him feel odd, a mixture of alien emotions he had never felt before. Shaking his head, he got up and went into the fitting room, where Feliks had the skirt fastened on him already. Toris raised his eyebrow at Feliks, who stared back with his seductive green eyes and batting his eyelashes.

"F-F-Feliks?" Toris asked. "The...well...the skirt. You managed to put it on yourself."

"Yes, I did," he answered.

"Alright, I guess you don't need me," Toris said, turning his back to reach for the fitting room's curtain. Before he could even touch the coarse fabric, Feliks grabbed both of his hands and pinned him against the wall, pressing his lips to his. Toris' eyes widened and stayed that way until Feliks ended the kiss. He smiled at the Lithuanian lovingly, but Toris was embarrassed.

"Feliks....I...why did you...why?" he asked. The young Polish man wrapped his arms around Toris' neck, looking into his eyes. 

"I like you very much, Toris," he confessed. "I hope you like me, too."

"Feliks," Toris said with uncertainty. "I...well...I have felt something...toward you for a little while now."

"You have? Oh, I'm so happy," Feliks said with a bright smile. Toris smiled shyly as their foreheads leaned in slowly for their lips to meet in a tender, warm kiss.

The taste of Felik's lips was that of strawberry lip gloss, but Toris didn't mind it one bit. He was more relaxed knowing that he was with someone with whom he had gotten along with for so long. Feliks' hands placed themselves on the sides of his crush's face, and Toris' arms were snaked around his friend's waist, hugging him snugly against him. Feliks moaned gently as Toris' tongue brushed against his lower lip. He put his own tongue to use, making their kiss be a competition for dominance. After a few minutes of soft moaning, Toris won; Feliks was dissatisfied and broke the kiss.

"No fair," he said.

"It's fair to me," Toris answered with a soft giggle. "Oh well, how can I possibly make it fair for you?"

"Be my boyfriend?" Feliks suggested.

"Done," Toris said with a smile.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Sunflower Fields (A Ukraine + Estonia LEMON)

My newest lemon!! Enjoy!!

 

"Irunya! Where are you?"

 

Eduard heard familiar giggling as he called out her name. The grassy terrain crunched below his feet as he ran rapidly into the field of brightly-colored sunflowers. The sun was beginning to set, and the skyline was becoming a light orange shade that illuminated his environment perfectly. Everything seemed to be so joyful and happy, sharing the same yellow hues as the sunflowers and the setting sun.

He walked around for a few minutes, moving through the crowded, tall plants to track down the sound of laughter. The sound continued, making the young man's heart flutter like a big butterfly in his chest. When he heard a thump, the giggling turned to full-out laughter. Walking a few steps forward, whilst moving a few thick sunflower stems and leaves aside, he saw the Ukrainian girl kneeling and laughing. 

"Silly me! I suck! I tripped!" she howled, joviality still present in her voice. Eduard sat down in front of her and let out a giggle, adjusting his glasses as he studied her carefully.

Irunya Braginskya had been a good friend of his for some time now, but he acknowledged his deeper feelings for her soon after they met. It wasn't at first sight, but it was the fact that he felt bad for her. She came from a poor family who farmed for a living and at the age of twenty, she still lived in her small Ukrainian village. Eduard thought she was a very beautiful girl, of course, from her platinum blonde, chin length hair held back by a few hair clips and a blue bandana. She had bland dark blue eyes, fair skin, and dressed in a homely manner. Today she was not wearing the usual white blouse and pants with suspenders; she was wearing a dark blue, voluminous skirt with a butter yellow sheer blouse which accentuated her enormous, natural bust. Eduard was so intrigued by the contents of her blouse, and it wasn't just this time...it was every time he saw her. Just thinking of their size and fullness when he wasn't in the Ukraine visiting her made him harden to the point where a bulge showed through his pants. Eduard loved her, his emotions intensifying as he noticed a rip on the top of her blouse where the buttons were. He cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow, looking at the area the rip was in so he could convey it to her without embarrassment. 

"Oh dear god," she said, shaking her head with pink, blushing cheeks as she struggled to cover up the hole in her blouse. Eduard protested with his eyes, but also moved her hand away from her large bosom. He licked his lips subtly, Irunya looking at him strangely. She, in turn, liked Eduard but hid her feelings out of fear of heartbreak and rejection.

"Don't...you don't have to hide, Irunya," he told her, blushing violently. Irunya shook her head frantically.

"This is humiliating! On top of it, my big boobies are making my back hurt a lot," she whined. This was not unusual; Eduard was used to this and normally expected it, but he was so desperate to show her he really had feelings for her. Sympathizing with her pain, he crawled over a few inches and began rubbing and patting her back gently. Irunya blushed, but still enjoyed his touch.

"I'm sorry you have pain, Irunya," Eduard told her, his fingers gliding over the yellow fabric that covered her back. She looked back into his eyes and smiled.

"I'm feeling a little better," she told him, relieving him of the thought that he may have been bothering her. He smiled, inhaling the fresh, unusual scent of the tall sunflowers around them. The sunlight added to their strangely alluring fragrance as he inhaled deeply.

"What a beautiful day," he said. 

"Oh? It's nearly sunset," Irunya contradicted.

"I know, but it is still beautiful. Whenever the sun is up, I am happy," Eduard said, looking into her eyes as he began caressing her cheek. "But when I am with you, it is even better." The sound of his voice captivated her so easily--it was like she fell deeper in love with him at an instant. Her cheeks turned a bright, rosy tint as his gentle touch sent chills of joy down her spine.

"Eduard," she said. 

"Yes, Irunya. I really like you," he confessed, leaning in to kiss her. His lips crashed onto hers, and while Irunya was surprised at first, she relaxed with passing seconds as he held her close with his hands on her waist and her arms snaked around his neck and shoulders. Eduard loved the taste and feel of her lips, but he was turned on at the feeling of her enormous breast pressing against his chest. The inseam of his pants grew tighter as they continued kissing. Within a matter of moments, Irunya broke the kiss. 

"I...like you, too, Eduard," she told him, kissing his cheek gently. Smirking, he kissed her passionately, enjoying the feeling of her bosom pressing against his chest. He held her tightly, causing her to moan in their kiss just before he broke it to speak. Irunya stared into his eyes.

"Have you ever been with a man, Irunya?" Eduard asked, causing her to blush a dark shade of red at such a question. 

"Why do you ask such things?" she questioned.

"I am just curious," he replied, looking down at her smooth cotton skirt to feel the fabric. To Irunya, it felt like he was touching her thigh; she enjoyed the feeling, leaning in to kiss his cheek. Eduard, in turn, crashed his lips onto hers with such force that she fell back onto the grass.

Kneeling between her legs, he pinned her skirt firmly to the ground as his kissing drive her wild. She moaned delicately, feeling his hand go to the hole in the middle of her shirt. His grip on the edge of the tear was firm, so he broke the kiss in order to rip the rest of her already-ruined shirt. She squealed in shock, blushing as her sizeable cleavage became more visible. Eduard looked down, caressing the exposed parts of her fullness; he knew they were begging for him to release them from their confines in her bra. Irunya reached to the front of her bra and unhooked the front clasp for him, knowing that he wanted to see and do maybe more to her most well-known feature.

"Here," she groaned lightly, finally unhooking the clasp. "It hooks in the front."

Eduard pulled the cups off her breasts and looked at them, his eyes hungry with insane lust as his hand ran over them. She moaned heavily, panting as she felt his tongue brush her left nipple. She held him close to her, running her fingers through his blond hair as he suckled her. Irunya blushed with a slight bit of embarrassment--he reminded her of a baby taking in milk from its mother.

"Eduard...oh," she moaned, his other hand caressing her other breast with gentle, slow strokes. He moaned as he took her other nipple into his mouth, sucking her wildly and vivaciously.

"Eduard," she repeated. His name sounded more like a sacred chant as she continued rubbing his head. His mouth still feasted lightly on her nipples as he reached up her skirt to stroke her through her panties. She gasped enough for him to notice, and he liked that she was enjoying herself. The thin fabric of her panties was soaked with her juices, especially where he was stroking her. Eduard continued kissing her breasts as his fingers teased her divinity.

"Eduard!" she moaned, blushing madly from the sensations. He smirked, sucking on a nipple before speaking.

"You are so wet," he said. He stopped, leaving her body begging for more of his sweet torment.

"Why did you stop?" she questioned. "More, please!" She was really begging now, and it aroused Eduard greatly.

"Wait a moment," he told her, reaching under her bottom to pull her panties off. Irunya blushed, the undergarment traveling down her skirt slowly as he smirked jokingly. He then leaned forward toward her newly-exposed womanhood, his tongue brushing her folds slowly. She jolted upon first feeling the sensation.

"Eduard! What are you....oh....ah," she moaned. 

He began licking from the bottom of her wetness to the top, slowly as he took his time with pleasuring her. Irunya tried to relax her upper body by laying with her arms spread out, preventing her hips from bucking too soon. When he started sucking her small bundle of nerves, she blushed and arched her back quickly.

"Ed-E-Eduard," she sighed, flattening her back one more time against the warm blades of green and tan grass. The remains of her blouse were still on her, but her breasts were fully exposed, nipples hardened greatly from the pleasure. He reached up, fondling one in his hand, making her gasp loudly.

"Ah!" she moaned. "It's amazing! More!"

"More?" Eduard asked, sticking the index finger of his free hand inside of her slowly. As she moaned, he slid it in and out, her juices lubricating his finger just perfectly as he determined that she was definitely ready for him to go inside her. He undid his belt and unzipped his slacks, lifting the front of her skirt up so he could kneel between her legs and rub the head of his member to her liquidity. He looked down into her eyes, smiling down at her as he pushed himself into her liquid heat slowly. She arched her back.

"Ah! Eduard!" she whimpered, arching her back. He held her close to him, starting as slow as he entered her, going in only so deep in order to tease her and make her beg for more.

"Are you alright?" he asked. Irunya nodded.

"Yes. It didn't hurt too much. You can move now," she told him.

Her arms snaked around his neck as his hands travelled down to her hips, holding them as he went wild inside of her. They moaned together, satisfied with the pleasure they were getting evenly from each other.

"Irunya! It's amazing inside of you!" he shouted, tilting her bucking hips upward so he could hit her sweet spot.

"AH! Вона відчуває себе так добре. Я збираюся оніміли!" she moaned in her mother tongue, her heart racing faster than percussion underneath the Estonian.

"See on kerimine minu ümber," he groaned, speaking his language as he moved faster inside of her. He still had most of his clothes on, but his member was sticking out of his pants. Almost every inch of his body was covered in a thin layer of perspiration. When he felt like he was nearing his climax, he held her close and whispered forcefully into her ear.

"I am about to--" He came inside of her, making Irunya feel a strange, warm fluidity flow inside her. He pulled out of her and looked down, putting his erection back in his pants as he looked down at Irunya. She looked exhausted, her enormous, natural breasts rising up and down in sync with her breathing. 

"Ma armastan sind," he told her. Her eyes widened, looking up at him
"What did you say?" she asked.

"I love you, Irunya," he repeated, leaning forward to kiss her gently. Returning it wholeheartedly, she broke the kiss to answer.

"I love you, too, Eduard," she told him, sitting up to put her panties back where they belonged under her skirt. She then hooked her bra back up, but knew she had nothing on her at that moment to fix her blouse.

"It's alright," he said. "I love how that looks."

"Don't be foolish! I look a mess!" Irunya contradicted.

"Come on. Why don't we call it a day, eh?" he suggested.

With that, he picked her up bridal-style and walked in the seemingly never ending sunflower field toward her small house. This sure was the best sunny day he had ever had in his life.